15 Things You Learn After College That Have Nothing To Do With The “Real World”

In a desperate attempt to hang on to my beloved college memories, I am making this list. I’m already getting memory-flies (butterflies thinking of my fave memories… in case you didn’t get that.) When I say the “real world” I mean your time NOW after you spent the last 16+ years becoming educated so you could make a living.

1. If you move away from your college town, making friends is like trying to cure a zombie from being dead. You don’t know the local places to go, let alone find your way around. Your new co-workers/neighbors, depending on age, may or may not want to converse with you or hang out. FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT! When you go to college, making friends takes as much as saying hello to a classmate, now its all about something I still haven’t figured out. Thank goodness for Snapchat, or our true college-sister-homies would be lost to us, right?

Thing is, this is me.

Thing is, this is me.

2. Music that you listened to in your dorm, walking to class or grinded to in da club brings back those perfect, embarrassing, lovely moments you experienced oh so long ago. Whether we realize it at the time or not, those melodies will keep us in those moments.

3. Being in bed at 8:30 p.m. or earlier becomes a priority. I have no idea how I could stay up so late those countless nights. I think we are trying to make up for those lost hours on our pillow after we graduate.

This is how I look sleeping.

This is how I look sleeping.

4. High school kids become the worst. YOUTH! They know nothing. I can’t explain it, they just seem so much worse than we were as younglings.

5. Drivers will piss you off so much! It was not until after college I started to realize how many people drive too fast and don’t use their blinkers. Jerks, I’m nosy and want to know where you are going!

I stopped flipping people off, I'm scared I'll get beat up at a stop sign.

I stopped flipping people off, I’m scared I’ll get beat up at a stop sign.

6. The morning news somehow becomes important. No matter how much you hated the news, you find yourself compelled to watch or listen while prepping for the day. (How did I become so boring?)

7. Being so involved with my extracurriculars in college, I now find myself thinking of things I can do so I don’t feel so lazy! I picked up crochet, holiday wreath making, reading for pleasure, yoga, craft beer/wine exploration, running 5ks and I went fishing once. All of these things were non-existent those four years in college. I did drop the partying/hangovers, which was a 3x/week thing. No longer seems appealing.

Normal weekend.

Normal weekend.

8. Imgur. What are this? Yeah. It’s pretty fantastic. Check it out if you need some emotions of any kind.

9. From watching an excessive amount of Say Yes to the Dress, I’ve learned some women pay more for a wedding dress than what I have accumulated in student loan debt. My college education is not worth some women’s white gowns. Dumb.

That dress is probably 20K or more.

That dress is probably 20K or more.

10. Making sure your younger siblings graduate from their educational adventures becomes important. You need them to succeed, so you can be awesome together! Also, it’s more fun to be poor with someone else.

11. If in a serious relationship, it seems like things happen you would have never expected in college. Apartment shopping without your bestie, but with a weird guy with great hair? Consideration of getting a pet, together? Figuring out dinner, each and every night, again, together… ? Talking about financial/relationship/permanent location futures becomes interesting. Finding out this bugger is the greatest person in the world, yeah, I think I can get used to that.


12. I called my Mom just about everyday while in school, now she texts me. The woman texts me and emails me. What the what? Why Mom, why? I think I annoy her by calling. My Dad also started using a cellphone. That was the weirdest text I have ever seen, to say the least. They are growing up so fast.

13. Spring break is no longer a thing to look forward to, depending on the amount of paid vay-kay you have. The 10-day trip to Florida or Arizona don’t seem as important as taking a few extra days during the holidays.


14. Facebook trolling becomes essential to finding out how your more dislike peers are doing now. Also, Twitter starts winning over the good ole FB. Tweets are quippy, fun and just better because we are always trying to start a newly trending hashtag. Retweets>Likes, all day long.

15. College was awesome, and now you are here, which may not be as exciting. I’ve learned a positive attitude, a friend or two that are dealing with the same situation and a promise of many new adventures is just enough to make the transition worth it. I miss my school, the friends, the cheap beer and the experiences I was a part of, but now it is time to stop ya mopin’ and make this life just as good as the last.


-Alyssa B.

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